Today, I was playing with my stilts in the water. Some fisherman thought I was walking on it. Now people just won’t leave me alone. FML
Submitted by user: Fishyxmiracle
Today, I was playing with my son’s new pet snake. Then it bit me. Then I found out it was poisonous. Why did my ex get him an asp? FML
Submitted by user: Cutie_cleo
Today, I went to check on my cow. He kicked over my lantern, catching my barn on fire. FML
Submitted by user: O’LearyxLass
Today, was my wedding. And the first time I found out my husband had been married five times before. And had two of his wives beheaded. FML
Submitted by user: HenryHater
Today, I was testing out my son’s new kite when storm clouds started rolling in. I thought it was just rain until a lightning bolt struck the kite, ruining the present and giving me a little shock. FML
Submitted by user: rabblerouser76
Today, I went to go talk to my mom about the ghoulish pranks my friends have been playing on me. I walked in on her making out with my uncle instead. At least, I still have my girlfriend. FML
Submitted by user: GreatxDane
Today, I was sitting under a tree with the worst migraine of my life when an apple fell on my head. FML
Submitted by user: floatingxman
Today, I had my 12 buddies over for dinner and they stole my last wine goblet. This is after I freaking washed their feet. FML
Submitted by user: sonofman
Today, I went to get a second cup of coffee. Came back to find my boat flooded. That f-ing iceberg came out of nowhere. FML
Submitted by user: unsinkableman436
Today, peasants came to visit and we didn’t have any cake for them. FML
Submitted by user: louis’sxlover
